Today we’re looking at how Americans do with the invented-in-Italy relatively new pseudo-tradition of the Locks of Love.  Specifically, we will consider the overall romantic nature of some locks of love seen on a fence along the walkway leading onto the Seattle ferry.

Now, before you look at the photos, you might think that since a ferry requires there to be a body of water, a fence on a walkway near the ferry will be a reasonable place for fulfilling the basic requirements for the locks of love:

Lee’s Unofficial Guide to the Locks of Love

1. Get a padlock with a key and a magic marker

2. Write your name and your beloved’s name on the padlock

3. Lock the padlock to a bridge over a body of water.

4. Toss the key into said water.

5. Congratulations, your lock is now attached to the bridge forever as a romantic symbol of your undying love.

You will note that steps #3 and #4 require there to be water.  Crucially, step #4 really needs it, since the whole idea of this “tradition” is that the key gets thrown into the water and lost forever, thereby making the padlock permanently attached to the fence in step #3. It can’t be a symbol of eternal love if you can easily go retrieve the key.

I didn’t make the rules of the game, I just report them.

But take a look at the Seattle Locks of Love I saw on that walkway near the ferry:

Locks of Love in Seattle – photo #1

Locks of Love in Seattle – photo #2

Seriously? Locks of Love here?  Really? This is just all wrong. There are steps just off the right of the photo that would take you down to the street where you could retrieve the key. Sigh.

It’s not the first time I’ve seen badly positioned locks, of course. But at least the landlocked locks seen in last year’s Locks in Translation were placed near a view. In retrospect, I clearly shouldn’t have been so critical of those…